Life goes on...

It's been over 3 weeks since Marv died. Sandy wrote a very meaningful post explaining how his last days were. So I won't write anything else about it, just happy that he got to spend his last days with the people he loved and loved him. Thank you Sandy and Lizzie for all you did.

I've kept busy.  I  cleaned his closet and dresser, I packed and gave away his clothes to Goodwill. I got rid of most of his medical supplies, boxes and boxes of them.  I cleaned the bathroom, emptied all the drawers, super cleaned the toilet and the floors and the tub, I sanitized everything, it looks sparkling!

With time, I would like to make up the guest room into a regular bedroom, and keep his room as an office. That will take time.

On January 22, Lizzie and I went to the Rose Hills Mortuary  and were given a box with Marvin's ashes, and a US flag, since he was an Army Veteran

                                                          The box is a heavy gold tin,

                                                      I haven't taken the plastic cover yet. 

                                       It has his name, date of death and date of cremation. 

                         Right now the box and the flag are on top of his dresser, in his bedroom.

Lizzie has been helping me with a lot of the paperwork. It's unbelievable how much there is to do! Like changing everything to my name, deleting most of his credit cards, of course paying the bills, and a lot more.  I will also try to make a budget for myself since I will not receive anything from his SS, or his pension (that's how we set it up).

I think I'm doing OK. I do have some lonely moments just me and Lulu at home, no one to talk to. Even though Marvin was a man of few words, it was nice to discuss the days happenings with him. I miss that. I do have some crying moments, sometimes is the small things that get to me...
I have lost some weight because I find it hard to cook just for me, but I've been eating out quite a bit. Today I weigh 175 lbs, which is the lowest I've been for a long time.

For the last 6 years, my main purpose was taking care of Marvin, taking him to dialysis and to the doctors, making him comfortable at home, of course taking care of his colostomy (I don't miss that!)
We didn't do very much other than the usual routine, but we tried to go out to eat a couple of times a month. And of course enjoying the girl's visits.

 Right now I feel a little lost. But there's a lot to do, and life goes on.